wanted to blog since a couple of days but I was too occupied at the same time. thank god I was still able to catch a few hours sleep (better than none) last night despite the hectic schedule. almost could not make it to morning class, almost. trust me, I could now fall asleep at anytime however I have the strong urge to put my current thoughts and feelings into words . despite I have been figuring out where it begins, hopefully this dairy would assist me in picturing it beautifully before it fades. I believe when one start thinking in words about his feelings, it makes the feelings last a lil longer than usual.
so here's the story.
long long time ago, the start of something good. and who would ever intend to frame good things with a time limit, but things happen yea know. I was forced to back to square one upon realising the existing issue.
HYQ can bring back the good old days as usual, making a telling use of the memories we merely share. With no doubt, it was exactly the right thing as said. It is a thousand pities that fate played a sorry trick on us. Those were old times when we got to spend the evenings together in the library before calling it a day. Despite I was not sure what were the topics we used to talk about, but I could remember clearly that those remarks were often just and amusing at every conversation we had.
Unfortunately, the call always came at the wrong time.
I thought I was doing heavy neutrality, showing my emotional occasionally while going through this. At time when I could not be sure what would be the appropriate reply, I tend to silence myself. It does not necessary mean that I don't care when I smiled and walked away quietly. I did so simply because I cherish our friendship with utmost care. I promise I was trying my best to hide the truth, not that I want to mess things up.
god knows how much effort I had taken to defend myself whenever the soft spot of mine was hit. Despite it being a difficult struggle, it was not fair for me to vent my frustration on the others. As times goes by I am actually used to this life, the more I care about certain things or people the more I want to hide it from the public. I always remind myself that things will get easier eventually, so long as I am willing to fight for it. I don't usually reach out somebody, but it is great to know there is someone out there stay approachable for me at exactly the right moment perpetually. I am thankful that the evenings were finally over.
I do record my feelings towards however each time one but not more. And the thing is I often had my answer pat for everything and had a cleared mind after reaching HYQ. I mean whatever it is the whole thing just works on me regardless. But for now I am forced to back to where it started as if it had never happened, again. From the moment I knew exactly it was not allowed to begin with, I decided to hurt you honestly rather than misleading you with a lie. If the truth will hurt once it is seen crystal-cleared, it indicates that has nothing whatsoever to do with you.
so here's the story.
long long time ago, the start of something good. and who would ever intend to frame good things with a time limit, but things happen yea know. I was forced to back to square one upon realising the existing issue.
HYQ can bring back the good old days as usual, making a telling use of the memories we merely share. With no doubt, it was exactly the right thing as said. It is a thousand pities that fate played a sorry trick on us. Those were old times when we got to spend the evenings together in the library before calling it a day. Despite I was not sure what were the topics we used to talk about, but I could remember clearly that those remarks were often just and amusing at every conversation we had.
Unfortunately, the call always came at the wrong time.
I thought I was doing heavy neutrality, showing my emotional occasionally while going through this. At time when I could not be sure what would be the appropriate reply, I tend to silence myself. It does not necessary mean that I don't care when I smiled and walked away quietly. I did so simply because I cherish our friendship with utmost care. I promise I was trying my best to hide the truth, not that I want to mess things up.
god knows how much effort I had taken to defend myself whenever the soft spot of mine was hit. Despite it being a difficult struggle, it was not fair for me to vent my frustration on the others. As times goes by I am actually used to this life, the more I care about certain things or people the more I want to hide it from the public. I always remind myself that things will get easier eventually, so long as I am willing to fight for it. I don't usually reach out somebody, but it is great to know there is someone out there stay approachable for me at exactly the right moment perpetually. I am thankful that the evenings were finally over.
I do record my feelings towards however each time one but not more. And the thing is I often had my answer pat for everything and had a cleared mind after reaching HYQ. I mean whatever it is the whole thing just works on me regardless. But for now I am forced to back to where it started as if it had never happened, again. From the moment I knew exactly it was not allowed to begin with, I decided to hurt you honestly rather than misleading you with a lie. If the truth will hurt once it is seen crystal-cleared, it indicates that has nothing whatsoever to do with you.
No comments:
Post a Comment